So, I'll Make it My Own

The essay below has been falsely attributed to commentator Andy Rooney acc/to snopes.com http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney4.asp

I was disappointed to find this out, but then realized I can claim many of these observations as my own!
(with some modifications)

(1) I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see what happens.

(2) Guns do not make you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

(3) I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!

(4) I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

(5) I have the right NOT to be tolerant of those whose behavior, IMHO, is wrong or immoral.

(6) When 70% of the people who get arrested are black in cities where 70% of the population is black that is not racial profiling. It is the Law of Probability.

(7) I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English!

(8) America does not exist so others can leave the countries they were born in to come over here and disrespect the USA. "Land of the free and home of the brave" does not comport with that kind of attitude.

(9) I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop", then reread #7.

(10) America's Founding Fathers did not write the US Constitution so that two centuries later activist judges could tell us it is a "living document," open to their bizarre interpretations.

(11) Pro wrestling is fake.

(12) I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and develop a better operating system.

(13) I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people and not a single one of them was born in Africa,so, how can they be "African-Americans?" I don't go around saying I am a Croatian-American because my grandmother came here from Yugoslavia. I was born here, so that makes me an American and nothing else!